♥ Be Happy

Thursday, September 18, 2008 Y 11:06 PM

180908 :

Sighs, 今天我领悟到一件事。一个人的背景，能主宰一个人的命运。在残酷的现实生活里，你想要得，不一定就能得到。我讨厌活在这个世界里，因为我讨厌那些让我不愉快的理由。

我想要得我却得不到，原来是一件那么痛苦的事。

但，命运弄人，倘若你有钱 ... 也不代表你拥有快乐，你子拥有物质上的享受。我讨厌我的存在。怎么死才是最好的呢？我一直在寻找这个答案。我没有勇气再继续活在这个世界上。我是说认真的。如果我能选择，我会选择死亡。

也许是因为有许多消极的事件在环绕着我，我找不到自己，我早不到快乐。I'm sick and tired of living. I hate the fact I'll always have to worry for minor little things ... the way life is, the way life teases me. 有些痛，是我再也无法承受的。我想放弃... though I know many might persuade me otherwise, but I would still choose death if possible. If only he takes me away...

There is some thing I really want to have , for months, but ... I'll never get to own it .. perhaps. I hate this kind of feeling ... 好想伤害自己，但我知道我得控制自己。我讨厌活在这个世界里！

I still have lesson tml, so I gonna end here.. Nights and sweet dreams.

✖ Ileana ✖

ღஜღ ¸.•*´`*-._

_.-*´`*•.¸ ღஜღ

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 Y 9:38 PM

170908 :

我最近想了很多，每次都会问自己... “ 我是不是很傻？” 如果知道不会有结果，为什么我还是那么傻，选择留在他身边... Hais ... 每次和他出去，都会留意到他某些举动，像是还没长大的孩子一样。但我却选择莫不吭声，没让他知道我的不满... 只说 “不要玩了” 。其实，我心中已有了答案。我们不会是个完美结局，因为... 我感觉得到，我在他心中，不是很重要，没了我也行。

我是不是做人做到很悲哀？我还是没勇气离去，因为我爱他，我喜欢和他在一起的每分每秒，就算没做什么，我也会很满足。只要能和他在一起就好了。每次不知道为什么只要他带我去走走，去我没去过的地方，我就会很开心... 我越来越觉得，自己很傻。

I'm having a term break this week, but I still have lesson on Friday. T___T" But I still need to go back to school to discuss assignment on Tuesday and Thursday(tml). Hais. Shag.

Still got loads of assignment untouched. ZZZ！Dead Meat soon. [: Sians ! Need to go back to school tml at 9am to discuss about our advertising class's presentation.

So early lors !

Kay narhs, I pig. hahas.

Hmms, I wanna get new bag, but it's pretty hard finding one you really like and right. I'm looking for one made of cloth material and some thing like a lady's bag . (: T_T I wanna get a big pencil case hees, cause this ' toolbox ' pencilcase I'm using kinda inconvenient though it's good cos I can dump everything in. =X ! Hehes !

Tired. End here lers. (: Thanks for the concern anyway. ^^ I no longer dread going to school !

✖ ileana `

ღஜღ ¸.•*´`*-._

_.-*´`*•.¸ ღஜღ

Monday, September 15, 2008 Y 1:12 AM

150908 :

I don't know what happened recently. But, every time when I travel by public transport, especially train, people seem to rush for seats .. and its very exaggerating. I mean, is there a need to really snatch for a seat the moment the mrt door opens ? They behave like it's the last time they are going to get a seat . I got really irritated . For those of younger age or physically fit, I don't think there's a need to do that unless you're unwell . Give those seats to the elders. Nowadays I notice even when someone of old age boards the train, no one seems to be willing to give up their seats. They pretend he or she isn't there. =.=

For me, I would give up my seat when I know I'm able to stand all the way to my destination. On Saturday 130908, I accompanied mum to Sembawang. Well, I had to switch to the red line at cityhall . I got a seat just few stations before Sembawang . This lady beside me, who looks like she's in her twenties.. left me a bad impression . She was on the phone and every sentence she speak, she had vulgarities in it . ZZZ ! I really can't stand it lors. I mean if its a guy it's still okay but , as a lady .. must have 女孩子的样.. If she speaks that way, wouldn't it be better if she's a guy. 女孩子应该斯斯文文的，最起码也不能说粗话！=.= She talk like she's some ahlian or whatsoever. Hearing all her vulgarities ruined my day . You name it she said it - " knn" , " nb ", "　cb ", "jb" etc . zzzz .

Hais, I'm just disappointed in the Singaporeans nowadays, not to say I'm good in anyway but.. one word, " disgrace " .

Hmms, adi called . She gave me a shock . Cause I didnt have her number in my hp . She said she's in Singapore and wants to meet up. hahas. SAD NARHS! Chris "daddy" still bully me as always. =(！sob sobs ! =(！Gonna meet them up this week since its holidays but yeah, i still got loads of homework to finish up. -.-

Shall end here now. (: My bed is calling me. HEES！But i can't sleep right now, ton-ing outside. =(！　

ｘ３ ileana !

ღஜღ ¸.•*´`*-._

_.-*´`*•.¸ ღஜღ

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Her name's ileana.

Desended to Earth on 17 Nov 1988.

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❥ My Beloved Hamsters(DaiDai&ShaSha, DanDan) & Doggy (Marco).

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-[ ]Gain Weight - 1o KG
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