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Thursday, January 8, 2009 Y 9:15 AM


o5o1o9 :


Sometimes I just dont get it . I really dont . Why does she change, at the rate of a chameleon . She used to say noting when i reach home late . Like 11 plus pm .. but today .. Sis told me mum was unhappy I went out .. and reach home at 10.30pm . Thats considered early le lor . zzz . Why .. Everything seems to change after they knew about my current bf . Very different . Mum doesn't seem to like him at all . I know it . I can feel it .

I hid my tears, those screams I shout, voiceless .. Nothing would work. She never listens. Not to me. All I could, is to hide my tears. Those unhappiness, the suicidal thoughts. I can feel and see it clearly, I dont mean a thing .. not to them . Everytime I yearn to end my life, I failed to do so . I didn't have the courage to do so , for i fear .. not death .. but not dying.

Sighs .. 我真的很烦。不了解为什么妈妈会有这么大的反差。 I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not . 但是,她永远也不会把我当成大人一般看待。

有没有人能理解我心里的那一份挣扎。Life seems meaningless to me now. The pain .. those tears ..

如果,你妈妈在你面前,说你只是她的负但。如果,你的姐姐说如果能选,她宁愿不要你这个妹妹... 如果对你的家人来说,你活着一点价值也没有,你笑得起来吗?你还会对生命充满热忱吗?

No one seems to understand whats behind my sad face.. why I was always quiet, why I always emo-ed.. Now, perhaps you have an idea.

我累了。如果,我的离去能救另外一个人,如果我的离去,能带来一个新生命的诞生,我愿意。

ღஜღ ¸.•*´`*-._Photobucket_.-*´`*•.¸ ღஜღ




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Me


Her name's ileana.

Desended to Earth on 17 Nov 1988.

Currently Schooling at Nayang Academy of Fine Arts ..



MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com


I Love

❥ My Beloved Hamsters(DaiDai&ShaSha, DanDan) & Doggy (Marco).

❥ All my friends who have always been by my side.

❥ My family & Grandma.

❥ Him; My Prince!


My Cravings

-[ ]Gain Weight - 1o KG
-[ ]Health, Happiness & Safety to all my loved ones.
-[x]Danboard
-[ ]Chinchilla + Cooler
-[x]Nokia XpressMusic 5350 touchphone
-[ ]Be Myself; confident, courageous, cheerful.
-[ ]Learn dancing, piano.
-[ ]Connie Talbot 'Over the Rainbow' CD
-[ ]Wallet/Purse & watch
-[ ]clothes, clothes, clothes!

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